You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize