I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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