I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
