Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
