This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
