Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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