If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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