he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
