So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you traded sex for a burrito?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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