I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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