you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
