Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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