That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
