dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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