Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize