apparently the secret to your success is patron
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
