i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Pooping to opera.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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