It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
