I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize