so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
