Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
