she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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