i barfeds in our rink
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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