I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
