i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
