Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
