i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
