I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize