I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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