the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
