i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
