Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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