So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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