i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
