Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
