I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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