The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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