I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
