Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
