things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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