the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im part way to drunk.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
