pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
