You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
