How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
