i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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