drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
