i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
