She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
ok first of all what the fuck
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
