Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
