I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
