i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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