I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
