Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
this is an emotional support booty call
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