i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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