i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
ok first of all what the fuck
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
