You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
FUCK WHALES
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