He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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