Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
