every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm bleeding and have questions
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
