don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
