There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
