somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
