you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
