Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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