The maid of honor just puked.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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