I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
