i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
