So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize