some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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