Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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