So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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