Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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