I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
