When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
