no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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