she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
